I was watching the movie Jungle 2 Jungle with Tim Allen, made in the 90’s, with my son yesterday, which happened to be one of my favorite movies as a kid (if you haven’t seen it, I highly suggest watching it – it’s on Disney+). And what struck me while watching this story as an adult and now a parent, was how this entire movie is a metaphor for how society tames our inner wild; our natural, primal instincts and intuition. Tim Allen is a stock broker, completely consumed in himself, his money, his job and his life in New York, doesn’t want children of his own when he finds out that he has a 13 year old son from his ex-wife who has been living with an indigenous tribe in the jungle, where their son was born and raised.
The reason I say this is a metaphor is because this extreme of being raised in a jungle away from society is not the norm for us, however I couldn’t help but identify with Mimi-Siku, his son in this story, as my son, as me, as all of us when we were children. Given the space and freedom to explore the natural world and create connection with the land and animals, to develop his own independence, sense of self, confidence, and skills as a boy and man, he had no fear when dealing with the ridiculous scenarios he encountered when he went to New York with his dad. It was Tim Allen’s character who was afraid of everything and projected this fear onto Mimi-Siku who was consistently confused by what he “did wrong” when he was simply being a curious, confident boy. (Sound familiar?)
Mimi-Siku knew how to take care of himself. He understood the meaning of keeping your word and having integrity. If he wanted something, he didn’t hesitate to take action to get it himself, despite being told no by his father because he was too busy for him. He was curious, and asked questions when he didn’t understand something. He didn’t have an inflated ego, and treated everyone with respect. He stood up for himself and wasn’t afraid to call out his father when he felt he was being out of integrity. He was more of a man in this story at 13 than most “men” here in our world, in my opinion.
It became so clear to me that we have become so afraid of what our parents and society told us we should be afraid of, that we have forgotten to check in with ourselves to see if we actually need to be afraid of these things. I had flashbacks of me as a new parent, doing the same things to my son that Tim Allen did in this movie and then realizing I am the one who is instilling that fear in him because I couldn’t handle what he was doing. He wasn’t born with the fear and none of us are. And my son continues to prove to me that he can do anything he feels confident in doing, as long as I am there to support and believe in him without projecting my own fears onto him.
This could look like things we see as harmless such as saying “Be careful” to everything they do, not allowing them to go barefoot, not letting them play in the dirt/mud, or go swimming in the lake/ocean/river because it’s “too dirty”, telling them not to jump, climb, run, etc., “don’t make a mess”, don’t get dirty, don’t play rough, don’t eat messily, and everything in between. Don’t cry too loud, or scream, or squeal, or show too much anger, excitement, or sadness, “Don’t talk back to me”, eat this (even if they clearly don’t like it), or don’t eat that…you get the picture. It may seem like small ways we are protecting them or teaching them but what we are really telling them is that we know better. This then doesn’t allow the space for natural consequences to occur when they may happen to hurt themselves and would learn from that experience more than what we tell them through our words.
My son proves to me that he understands what it means to keep your word, just like Mimi-Siku, and consistently calls me forward into my own integrity. He observes people and understands the dynamics that feel out of alignment with true human nature of love and connection and support. He has a connection to animals like I have never seen. Where I am afraid of a bug landing on me, he is trying to catch them and make friends.
What I also realized was how my fears have held me back as a child, a young adult and an adult in many ways. I have worked through a lot of them, however some of them are so ingrained that it sometimes feels like fighting off a dragon that consistently grows back it’s head after you slay it. This is how important it is for us as parents, caregivers, teachers, and role models of the children in our lives to promote and support their wildness. This of course won’t happen until we as adults address and own our own wild side. He proves to me that it is about modeling the behaviors that we want to see and not constantly telling others what to do and how to do it. So if I want him to learn how to listen to his inner voice and guidance, become confident, face his fears, and embrace his wild side, I must be the model of what that looks like, for myself first, in front of him.
This doesn’t mean acting reckless, crazy and irresponsible, which I believe the word “wild” has taken on as a shadow meaning. It means tapping into your primal instincts, your intuitive nature, your innate truth as part animal. We cannot deny our connection to animals as we also eat meat, hunt, and fornicate as some of them do. We come from the Earth and are sustained by her gifts, which include plants, animals, etc. The world we have created as Humans is not superior to the natural world or what we consider as “wild”. There are still plenty of cultures who live solely off the land, in connection and oneness with it and are happy, fulfilled, healthy, and thriving.
It is our arrogance that separates these two worlds and makes one better than the other, simply because we haven’t fully experienced it, and are most likely fearful of it. But what are we so afraid of? The presence of fear is simply a lack of trust in oneself. When we fear animals, nature, and even other humans, it’s because we do not trust ourselves enough to be able to defend, fight, or even love what we feel is against us. It has nothing to do with the other, and all to do with the inner self. The problem is that we have given our power away to those outside of us, or were even forced to, to tell us what we should fear, how we should feel about ourselves and that we cannot trust ourselves.
We are teaching our children that the world is a scary place and to be afraid that they’ll be taken advantage of. I am not downplaying the fact that scary things do happen and children can get taken advantage of at times, however, this is where true modeling, parenting, teaching, and mentoring is needed. Teach them how to stand up for themselves, to trust their intuition when it comes to what is actually dangerous and what is not (without your own fear conditioning leading the way). If we continuously point them inward to discover these things for themselves, they will most likely not put themselves in situations without proper precautions. And we need to let go and trust. Trust that sometimes they know what’s best for themselves and we do not.
So I ask you reader: what is your connection to your own inner wild side? How much do you trust your natural instincts and intuition? If this is a new conversation for you and you have children of your own, I urge you to begin exploring it and see how it may or may not have influenced your parenting. Do not beat yourself up for past mistakes, but instead choose to empower new actions starting NOW, and do the inner healing work for both yourself and your children. Empowerment is a choice, no matter how difficult of a task it may seem to cultivate within yourself, it IS possible. And I am here for your support!
Stay wild,
Bethany
Bethany Empowers 