“Physical connection cannot be replaced and its importance must not be underestimated. We can’t get physical contact through a screen or from a distance. We need touch. We need vicinity. We need the comfort of being in physical contact with one another.” – Teal Swan
When we talk about self-love, it generally has to do with what we do for ourselves alone, and not with other people. Of course, it is a good practice to learn how to care and love for oneself without always being dependent upon others to meet our needs, however, sometimes the most self-loving thing we can do is to ask for love from someone else.
Humans are a social species, which means we are designed to interact and thrive in communities with others, not in isolation. While we are able to give ourselves physical touch as a self-loving act through self-massage, self-pleasure and gentle self-touching when we need it, nothing replaces the touch and physical comfort of another human being. Go too long without it, and we begin to feel the lack of this form of love in our lives.
Once we do spend time learning about how we personally respond to love in the form of physical touch by giving it ourselves, the next step is to begin asking for it from those we trust. It may not be easy for everyone, if someone has experienced some form of physical trauma or abuse, and this is why its important to seek it from someone trustworthy, stable, and supportive if you are healing.
Shame could pop up, especially around any type of sexual pleasure we may desire and give to ourselves, or partake in with someone else, but this doesn’t mean it is wrong. In fact, it is the OPPOSITE. Pleasure in all forms, alone or with others, is self-loving. Doing things to feel good is not wrong, as long as we’re being safe, have consent (with ourself and others), and are practicing self-awareness and moderation.
The shame is simply an indication we have a chance at healing from a projection that was more than likely imposed upon us at a young age. When we can see it this way instead of internalizing it to mean we don’t deserve this form of love, we are able to take our power back and reclaim physical touch and pleasure in the ways we know are best for us.
How can you touch yourself in an empowered, self-loving way today?
Who can you trust to give you physical touch and comfort?
***This blog was originally written as an Instagram post for The SICC House. Visit their Instagram here.
Bethany Empowers 