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This year I have been deep in my own empowering transformation, tapping into my innate Feminine Strength and Magnetism – loving Her, honoring Her, respecting Her, Pleasing Her. She is my adventurous side, the Wild One, yearning to dive deep into new and exciting experiences that stimulate and tantalize all of Her senses. She wants to take risks, live out loud, unapologetically in her Passionate, Sensual, Fiercely Powerful Essence.

This is the Power of the Pussy Goddess. She is the most beautiful, calming, empowering, mesmerizing energy I have ever felt. She is who I have kept locked away for many of my adult years, out of fear that she will be “too much” for others. Because She is, at times. But we no longer care. She is not disrespectful, nor scandalous, nor seeking validation – which is what She is generally viewed as by those uncomfortable with their own sexuality. She IS naturally Confident, Magnetic, Charming, and in the Flow.

Not only does She possess this Ravenous Vixen who is ready to pounce on whatever she desires, She has also mastered the Unconditionally Loving, Nurturing, Protective, Instinctual, and Caring attributes of the Universal Mother. This, too, is the Power of the Pussy Goddess, and every single Feminine energy on the planet has the ability to tap into this Sacred Space. This is where we plant the seeds of our desires and then birth them into Life for all of Humanity to enjoy. Our connection to Pure Source energy of Creation. Raw, limitless potential. It’s fucking magical!

She is not meant to be taken for granted, minimized, suppressed, nor feared. Yet, we do. Even I have been guilty of this in the past, but simply because I did not fully understand Her. She has the power to initiate massive destruction that causes ripples of transformation in one breath, without warning, followed by the instincts and intuition to rebuild, nurture, and grow what once was, into something brand new, never seen before in existence. She has mastered the Death and Rebirth cycle and embodies that – with every tidal wave of emotion, every month, every season, year after year.

Because this is the Powerful Wisdom of the Pussy Goddess – understanding the absolute NEED for erosion and resurrection in all areas of life, and having the capacity, strength, and compassion to hold all of Humanity in her Heart and Womb during this uncomfortable process. She’s tapped into the Higher Perspective, is the Visionary of Life, willing to uphold the Integrity of the World that her Phallus God has so powerfully provided for Her. They work together in Union, entrusting and allowing each other to Utilize their own Unique and Powerful Gifts for the Highest Good of All. She is not Safe without Him, and He has no Purpose without Her.

And the Pussy Goddess understands this – She does not resist, nor demean, nor doubt, nor belittle her Phallus God – because She sees His Power too, and She craves it. It is not Equality, it is Complimentary. They need each other and they thrive off of each other’s energy when living in Harmony. Both of these energies are available within each Human, whether you possess a Pussy or a Phallus. One is not superior nor inferior – they are BOTH needed and have special qualities that bring our World into Balance. But first they must be understood, transformed, healed, nurtured, and embodied individually, before merging together with the other.

The Pussy Goddess gives birth to New Life, and leads the Phallus God in this way. Do not fear this Potential within yourself, nor anyone else, when you can sense Her. Encourage Her, love Her, cherish Her, and witness Her! She is meant to be seen and felt and adored. Goddesses – this is a CALL TO ACTION to gather all of the other Goddesses around you, and CELEBRATE each other! Lift each other up, encourage each other, laugh, cry, scream, love, release, and PLAY – all without judgement, shame, and guilt! The time is NOW and WE are leading the way!

Listen to the whispers of your Pussy Goddess, reclaim Her, and fucking EMBODY Her, so that She can flourish and plant seeds for generations to come. Then support other Queens, Goddesses, and Empresses in doing the same and watch how quickly this World comes into Harmonious Balance!

Love you,

Bethany

This topic looks at both sides of our inner voice – the shadow and the light. The real work comes when you learn to actually listen to and acknowledge your dark side as vital to your overall being. You do not want to attempt to suppress, avoid, deny, or banish it, because it serves a purpose in your life. Mastery will be learning to listen to it with curiosity, acknowledge what it has to say, and find the real meaning in what it is showing you about yourself.

If you struggle with very critical and judgmental thoughts towards yourself, it is time to look deeper at the words to see what is truly needing to be expressed. Are you able to love this voice as it is without asking for it to change? Can you see that this inner critic is wounded and is simply projecting that pain so that you may become aware of it and teach it how to love and be loved? Because that is exactly what is happening. This voice has power and you do not want to banish it. Instead, teach it how to be more uplifting and supportive. Give it new language.

Practice noticing the negative thoughts and choose to express the thought in a more positive way. The essence of an idea can always be expressed in two ways – positive and negative. Each concept has two sides of the same coin, and it is up to you to retrain your brain to see BOTH sides, and not just one. Because on the flip side, you do not want to ONLY see the positive, as that can also be denial of all that is. Denying either polarity would keep you from being fully ALIVE. One does not exist without the other for contrast.

So whichever side you tend to be on, practice flipping the script to see the other side as well. You can be both happy and sad at the same time. You can be both perfect and flawed all at once. None of it is right or wrong, it all just IS. But if thinking one way tends to bring you down or steal your peace, it might be time to practice new thoughtful habits. Your mental habits crave consistency, so do not give up on showing yourself that kindness and compassion when a critical thought comes in. Do not be afraid of them, as they are there to teach you more about yourself. They are teaching you how to truly love and care for yourself in a way that YOU need.

To start, practice this mantra to shift your thoughts when you hear that critical voice: I free myself from critical thoughts towards my body and my worth. (This mantra was taken from one of the oracle cards from The Moon Deck, which you can purchase here).

Then look at the actual words that you hear, and examine the energy behind them. Whose voice is this? Why am I being so harsh with myself? Which words will feel better that can get a similar message across? Chances are it is alerting you to something that needs to shift in your life, but doesn’t have the tools to do so yet. Recognize this as the start to the clearing of something old in order to make way for something new. No need to fear it, as the other side of the coin to fear is excitement. Look at it as a transformation – an opportunity to reinvent yourself to become that version that makes you proud.

And remember that everything that is happening is perfect, despite the delivery of the message. Because you are everything – good and bad, right and wrong, perfect and flawed – in every moment. It’s simply a matter of expanded awareness and connection to All That Is.

Sending you love,

Bethany

Boundaries can be tricky. If you are learning about them for the first time, they start out as a huge impenetrable wall, simply because you don’t know any better. Everything exists on a spectrum, so in order to find the balanced middle for you personally, you will inevitably need to experience and practice the extremes on either side first, oscillating back and forth until you reach equilibrium. For a lot of people in society, we were not allowed to have personal boundaries growing up. It became unsafe to maintain our own personal identity in a family where conformity was the rule.

So let’s start out by defining what boundaries are in my personal opinion and experience, and I encourage all of you to do the same for yourselves. We absolutely could look the up the dictionary definition but I don’t believe an answer from a book will suffice this very complex topic. To me, boundaries are personal likes and dislikes, what I will allow and what I won’t allow. Sometimes these boundaries change, sometimes they break down and no longer exist, and sometimes I build new ones. It all depends on what I experience in close relationships with others and what I discover I like or don’t like about how it FEELS when someone says or does something that evokes a strong reaction from me.

Because they originate from our feelings, they can sometimes become very strong simply because we were hurt by something and never want to experience that feeling again. But when we do this, creating a huge barrier instead of a filter, we end up blocking good things from coming in too. If you have been wondering why your manifestations or creations haven’t been coming to you yet, perhaps you are more closed off and guarded than you think. Even if opportunities are coming to you, if you have such strong boundaries around not allowing things in, you may not even recognize when they do, and dismiss them instead due to cynicism.

I do believe that protecting yourself is necessary and okay for a time, when you need to rest, heal, and rejuvenate. But once you’ve done that work, the only way you will know if you’ve actually learned the lessons is by going back in and being in relationship again, which means having to open up and receive. This then becomes the tricky lesson – how do I keep myself and my boundaries while also allowing someone else into my world? Especially if the last time you did that, you felt like you got burned, hurt, obliterated. It’s fucking terrifying!

But it has to be done. So, how do you do that? First, you get very clear on what your boundaries are BEFORE you come into relationship with ANYONE – friends, family, business, romantic, even children. What is okay with you and what is not? What are the core non-negotiables? For example, lying from anyone in my life is not something I tolerate. If you lie to me, best believe that trust has gone right out the window and will take a long time to be rebuilt, depending on the lie and person. But you see how complex it actually is? It depends upon so many variables and those variables depend upon each individual person and situation.

The biggest way to maintain and create boundaries while remaining open is to continuously check in with your body and how you FEEL when something happens. Do NOT check out, which is numbing and avoiding. This is another reason why we keep such strong boundaries and do not let others in – it’s easier. We can pretend like shit isn’t happening, but that cannot last forever. You won’t experience joy, pleasure, and excitement, just because you are keeping yourself from experiencing pain, heartbreak, and sadness. You cannot have one without the other – both exist and both are needed.

It becomes your relationship to the pain and sadness that needs to shift, knowing that it won’t last forever and that you CAN get through whatever emotion you are experiencing. We can even experience being both happy and sad at the same time. This is absolutely possible, and ESPECIALLY when you decide to get back out there again after being heartbroken. The full healing will occur within relationship to another. They will open you up, which will be painful as you relive some of the past hurt and pain, but they will also show you the OPPOSITE of what you experienced before, which becomes the remedy for that pain and sadness.

There is no other way to fully heal without experiencing the opposite of what you experienced before, and you cannot do that locked away behind your fortress walls. You have to get out there and be in connection again, which will absolutely be terrifying, but it will be worth it if you can change that wall into a screen that protects but also ALLOWS energy to flow in and out. The practice will be in recognizing whatever doesn’t feel good, checking in to see if it something you need to communicate about, and then being willing to end the connection if that person doesn’t seem to be willing to respect your boundaries.

And if someone gets upset and becomes unwilling to listen to what those are for you, they are most likely not someone you want in your life while you are becoming whole again. It doesn’t mean you have to end the connection forever, but at least until they are willing to respect you in this way. This is definitely easier when meeting new people – establishing boundaries and gauging whether or not they will respect them. It is more tricky when re-establishing new boundaries in already existing connections where you are acting differently and they are not used to it. If this is the case, and you want this connection to stay in your life, be patient with them as they relearn your new boundaries and make adjustments accordingly. Also, do not waver. Stand firm and be loving about what they are and why they are there. Be the person to stick up for yourself.

If you are struggling with this right now, book a session with me for support! I am sending you so much love, healing, and strength!

Bethany

Sometimes circumstances in our lives trigger reactions within us that cause us to feel “stuck” in how to move forward. In coaching, I refer to this as the “either/or” context – the solution is EITHER this OR that, good OR bad, black OR white, positive OR negative, right OR wrong (you get the picture) – which is extremely limiting. This belief that there are ONLY two options provides zero room for possibility, empowered choice, or freedom.

The beautiful thing about becoming AWARE of our limiting beliefs from an objective perspective, is that we then have the power to shift it immediately, rather than reacting from that space. That is how these questions can be utilized – as a quick reflection practice in order to get “unstuck” and move forward without the suffering of feeling trapped in our own limited beliefs. It does take practice to reach a level of mastery in order to get to this space for immediate shift, but if you are dedicated to expanding your consciousness, I have no doubt you will get there quickly!

Whenever any situation arises that causes an intense reaction, get curious, stop and ask yourself these 4 questions:

1. Why am I thinking/feeling/reacting this way? – Questioning WHY you are thinking/feeling/reacting can immediately disarm the energy from becoming outwardly focused. It has NOTHING to do with the outside circumstances that seemingly “caused” the reaction, and EVERYTHING to do with your inner world.

2. What is this showing me about my current state of being and what I need? – Once you pull your focus back inward, you can identify if a need is not being met, whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Often times, a reaction can be immediately shifted here with this question if we can intuit the answers easily.

3. What do I believe to be true (or not true) that is causing this intense reaction? – Once discovering which needs are not being met in this moment, we can ask ourselves what we believe about ourselves and/or others that keeps us from meeting these needs. For example, you may discover that you don’t feel worthy of making a certain amount of money because wealthy people are greedy, evil, corrupt, etc. and that limiting belief keeps you from allowing yourself to receive the amount of money you actually want to make, and DESERVE to make by staying in dead end jobs with low pay.

4. What do I want to choose instead and replace with a more empowering belief? – After pin pointing this belief, you then have the power to replace it with something that makes more sense for YOU. You can tell everything about a belief that resonates most for you by how it makes you FEEL. If the new belief you wish to replace the limiting belief with doesn’t make you feel like you can actually make progress and move forward in whatever area of your life you’re stuck in, then play with it until it feels the most empowering and motivating!

The more you practice diving in to the thoughts and emotions you have, both big and small, and QUESTIONING what’s actually happening below the surface, the more quickly you will be able to move out of “stuck” energy, lower vibrational thoughts and emotions, and see the possibilities that are actually available to you! And it all begins with the power of choice…

What will you choose today?

Something I have noticed lately is that one of the most confusing aspects of living as a Human here on Earth is our inability to comprehend the paradoxical nature of the Universe. A paradox can be described as “an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion,” meaning despite what may seem like the way to do something, or what to believe about something, the opposite is actually true. This is the mirror reflection the Universe is providing us always, with everything and everyone. A mirror image is our opposite – it is still us, and true, but we often forget that we are connected to everything in our reality in this way while living in the third dimension, and that what is being shown to us on the outside is in fact, a reflection of who we already are on the inside.

This can be a tough pill to swallow when what shows up on the outside isn’t something that we enjoy, and this is where I believe we get caught in a trap of illusion. We tell ourselves (and especially if we are woke and aware of the Law of Attraction, which pretty much everyone is now a days), that there must be something “wrong” with us and our manifesting abilities, with our vibration, with our thoughts, with our intentions, if we are attracting such an uncomfortable, difficult, scary, or intense situation on the outside – so we begin to find new ways to do it “right.” We must not be practicing the Law of Attraction perfectly because what we asked for didn’t show up in a perfectly packaged box all tied up with a neat bow. Right?!

Well I am here to tell you my friends that THAT belief will completely halt your growth. The definition of perfect is “conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type,” with the key word here being CONFORMING. And to conform means to “act in accord with the prevailing standards, attitudes, practices, etc. of society or a group.” So we begin chasing after the most popular training, or course, or self-help tools in order to “fix” what must be wrong with us, because of the beliefs we are adopting about what has shown up in our lives on the outside. Which, because we now understand that everything is a reflection of us, cannot be right, because it is not perfect – meaning the ideal picture of what we had imagined or what is deemed appropriate by society. A very rigid belief with zero forgiveness of being anything other than what someone else has claimed is “perfect,” (which will look and feel different for every individual, depending on our culture and environment, but it doesn’t exclude anyone from the general idea of what perfection means).

And here is where chasing perfection becomes a paradox – we are already perfect, whole and complete as we are. Everything that is showing up on the outside exists within us, otherwise we wouldn’t have attracted it. If we resist, fight, push away, hate, avoid, or deny what is happening, we are not accepting and loving this aspect of ourselves, and therefore we are chasing something else that we will NEVER be able to attain, because the power is found by going within, and not focusing without. If what shows up isn’t something we particularly enjoy, what does that mean about how we feel about ourselves? Who told us it wasn’t okay to feel, think, act, or be this way? Is it actually destructive and unhealthy, or is it simply a chance to see the love that exists there, that WANTS to be loved? If it is destructive and unhealthy, what do we need to do for ourselves in order to change these patterns? This is where our power lies, and it always comes from what WE choose to do, NOT what everyone else says is the most popular way to fix what’s wrong.

By the way, I am not saying that everything everyone creates in the self-help world is not beneficial and doesn’t change peoples lives for the better – rather, I am inviting you to recognize if you get caught up in the fads and trends instead of listening to your own inner guidance, like me. If I spend too much time on social media I can get sucked in to everyone else’s world of what they’re doing and begin thinking that I should also be doing those things to be more successful, pretty, smart, powerful, etc. But in doing that, I am not honoring where I am on my own personal journey, and I am avoiding doing my own work. This does show how so very powerful we all are, though, that we have this ability to influence others to do something that they may not have thought to do before, and this is another point – becoming mindful and aware of the intentions behind what we do, say, and share with others.

Are we coming from a place of service and authenticity, or from a place of wanting to fix ourselves through controlling others? Another hard pill to swallow, once we realize that is where we are unconsciously operating from. But never fear, because once the awareness is gained, the shift can occur and we’ve taken our power back once again! So please remember that perfection is not something we can attain, because it already exists within us, and it’s all a matter of perspective anyway. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so are you able to hold this view of yourself as perfect, beautiful, whole, and pure, no matter the details of who, what, where, when, and how it is being presented? If so, you’ve claimed your power and freedom from the chase! Bravo!

And fuck what everyone else thinks, anyway!

Much love,

Bethany

When something painful happens to us, we generally have automatic reactions that include some form of defense – shutting down, running away, fighting back, disassociation, denial, numbing out – and we do this because it gives us some sense of control over what’s happening. Because we cannot control the outside circumstances, the person, the situation, we control how we react to the pain.

However, depending on the environment and culture we grew up in, any emotion that is intense and uncomfortable such as anger, sadness, heartbreak, jealousy, envy, etc. is taught to be feared instead of accepted. It is actually quite rare that we were taught as children how to process these emotions and channel them into something creative rather than destructive.

So we grow up as adults and are drawn to certain situations, people, and experiences where we have these specific lessons to learn in order to gain personal knowledge, wisdom, and power. We tend to view them as too painful to actually experience, though, because it will be inconvenient and messy, so we fear them instead – enter the defense mechanisms.

The disconnect is that we don’t see these situations for what they really are – an opportunity, a gift, given to us by the Universe to evolve. But we must face this pain head on if we want to truly transcend past the automatic responses that we have been taught are more appropriate in society. This requires a level of awareness, courage, and inner strength that is not always easy to achieve, but once again, we have come to believe that we are not able to handle such painful feelings, which is really just because we lack the practice, mastery, and confidence on how to handle these situations appropriately.

When I began my journey of ascension a few years ago, I was in so much pain. I felt empty, lonely, lacked real self-esteem and everything that used to provide me with a sense of value did not make me feel good about myself anymore. That was the problem, though, I was searching externally for validation and self-worth. Because of this, I created a lot of suffering for myself and others, especially those closest to me. All because I wasn’t addressing my core wound – that deep pain that wanted to be acknowledged, accepted, seen, heard, and loved, by ME – not anyone else.

I went through the process of blaming everyone around me and trying all of the same coping mechanisms to make myself feel better, but nothing worked anymore. I was ignoring my inner self that was screaming at me to go inward and face what was there. Finally, after some shameful and destructive behaviors that included me cheating on my husband and breaking up our family, and then “falling in love” with someone else who I believed would save me that turned into another painful, embarrassing break up and lesson, I had no choice but to go inside and figure out why the hell I was acting this way.

Because the pain was so immense and I couldn’t ignore it or suppress it any longer, this is where things shifted for me. I began gaining a sense of “control” over my life by diving deep into my authentic self, which included a lot of darkness and pain, but I began understanding myself in a brand new way. I became empowered by realizing that I had the power to actually CHOOSE to do things differently, and I wasn’t at the mercy of outside circumstances, or my past.

By addressing my core wound of low self-worth, I am no longer just managing my emotions when they come up by finding a temporary “fix” in the moment – that feeling of control. Instead, I choose to empower my own inner strength by being proactive and have built the bandwidth within myself to feel, process, and understand not just my pain, but all of my emotions so that I can respond coming from a place of power instead of fear – responding versus reacting.

The reason I do what I do now is because if I can support others in facing their pain without having to create the same mistakes, messes, or suffering that I went through, then I will know that what I experienced had a bigger purpose, because it does. Everything we experience has a purpose, ESPECIALLY our pain. So don’t be afraid of it – embrace it, love it, and empower it to lift you higher on your journey of evolution.

Everyone deserves forgiveness, unconditional love, compassion, and second chances. But first it requires some honesty, vulnerability, responsibility, and humility with yourself and others. No one needs to suffer and feel comfortable in their pain, yet a lot of us believe we somehow are not able to get out of it, but that is a very limited perspective. And we are all EXPANSIVE, POWERFUL, and MAGICAL beings who must experience the darkness in order to appreciate the light, and know the difference between the power that each holds.

We have the power to create anything we want from the lessons we have learned – so what do you choose to do with this power today?

Much love,

Bethany

Here is a rule of thumb for if you are having trouble deciding whether something or someone is good for you: notice how you feel when you are around said thing or person. Do you have more energy, or do you feel more tired? Are they giving you some source of power with a connection of energy running steadily between the two of you, or are you giving away all of your energy in a one-sided transaction and feeling depleted? I saw a quote on Instagram today that said: Know the difference between connection and attachment. Connection gives you power, and attachment sucks the life out of you.

This isn’t always as easy to spot right away, unless you are looking for it or noticing a big dip in your own energy levels all of a sudden. But, identifying this can provide you with the opportunity to take your power back and set appropriate energetic boundaries for yourself. Now, if you are like me and have grown up in co-dependency, boundaries may be a fairly new word for you. You might be used to freely giving away your energy to anyone that asks for it simply because you don’t want to upset them, or you think you can save them, and vice versa. But in doing so, you are creating an unhealthy attachment that then leaves you vulnerable to be taken advantage of, or you taking advantage of others.

Connection is reciprocal. Attachment is one-sided. Think of connection like the infinity symbol – a constant open pathway back and forth with no end, causing an interconnected channel of energy flow. Think of attachment like a leech – one entity sucking the life force out of the another, with no cause of concern for the one being sucked upon. If you intuitively can feel that this dynamic is happening with any person or situation in your life, it is time to get clear for yourself whether or not this can be shifted into an empowering connection, or if it needs to end. Because it will inevitably happen to all of us, on both sides. You will be the one attached to someone else in your life, and someone else will be attached to you at some point in your life.

This is the core of co-dependency, which is needing an external person or thing to replace something you feel is missing within you. And perhaps you DO need someone or something to provide you with something, but the difference is that they can TEACH you how to do it for yourself, rather than expect them to DO it for you. This is how you can set the boundary when you feel it is happening to you. Be clear in your communication and remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you ALLOW. So if you’ve been allowing it thus far, there may be confusion and upset on their part when you attempt to create a reciprocal connection rather than an attachment. And how they respond to you will show you if they are willing or able to be reciprocal or if they are not ready to evolve from the attachment style of being with others.

What I love about the quote: I am connected to everything and attached to nothing, is that if you allow yourself to be CONNECTED, you can learn something from everything and everyone, even if it is undesirable and painful, which allows you to grow and move through the inevitable cycles of life in a state of flow and ease. If you are attached to something or someone, you stay stuck in one spot and the energy flow begins to get backed up like a clogged pipe. This is how you can create emotional and energetic blockages within your body, and why you may sometimes have a hard time moving on from certain behaviors, situations, memories, or relationships. If you are attached to nothing, you are not easily disappointed because you are in tune with the flow of life, and understand that you don’t have much control over how things will play out.

This is one of the most deeply difficult and humbling lessons we ALL have to learn here on Earth, and eventually will surrender to this truth. So, if you are feeling this Monday Meditation topic but are having some difficulty setting your own boundaries or making sense of the dynamics you have playing out in your life at the moment and would like some personalized support on how to communicate your boundaries honestly and powerfully, book a session with me today. Everyone will need their own individualized plan and way of doing this, and I am here to support you for just that!

Sending you so much love and strength,

Bethany

I was watching the movie Jungle 2 Jungle with Tim Allen, made in the 90’s, with my son yesterday, which happened to be one of my favorite movies as a kid (if you haven’t seen it, I highly suggest watching it – it’s on Disney+). And what struck me while watching this story as an adult and now a parent, was how this entire movie is a metaphor for how society tames our inner wild; our natural, primal instincts and intuition. Tim Allen is a stock broker, completely consumed in himself, his money, his job and his life in New York, doesn’t want children of his own when he finds out that he has a 13 year old son from his ex-wife who has been living with an indigenous tribe in the jungle, where their son was born and raised.

The reason I say this is a metaphor is because this extreme of being raised in a jungle away from society is not the norm for us, however I couldn’t help but identify with Mimi-Siku, his son in this story, as my son, as me, as all of us when we were children. Given the space and freedom to explore the natural world and create connection with the land and animals, to develop his own independence, sense of self, confidence, and skills as a boy and man, he had no fear when dealing with the ridiculous scenarios he encountered when he went to New York with his dad. It was Tim Allen’s character who was afraid of everything and projected this fear onto Mimi-Siku who was consistently confused by what he “did wrong” when he was simply being a curious, confident boy. (Sound familiar?)

Mimi-Siku knew how to take care of himself. He understood the meaning of keeping your word and having integrity. If he wanted something, he didn’t hesitate to take action to get it himself, despite being told no by his father because he was too busy for him. He was curious, and asked questions when he didn’t understand something. He didn’t have an inflated ego, and treated everyone with respect. He stood up for himself and wasn’t afraid to call out his father when he felt he was being out of integrity. He was more of a man in this story at 13 than most “men” here in our world, in my opinion.

It became so clear to me that we have become so afraid of what our parents and society told us we should be afraid of, that we have forgotten to check in with ourselves to see if we actually need to be afraid of these things. I had flashbacks of me as a new parent, doing the same things to my son that Tim Allen did in this movie and then realizing I am the one who is instilling that fear in him because I couldn’t handle what he was doing. He wasn’t born with the fear and none of us are. And my son continues to prove to me that he can do anything he feels confident in doing, as long as I am there to support and believe in him without projecting my own fears onto him.

This could look like things we see as harmless such as saying “Be careful” to everything they do, not allowing them to go barefoot, not letting them play in the dirt/mud, or go swimming in the lake/ocean/river because it’s “too dirty”, telling them not to jump, climb, run, etc., “don’t make a mess”, don’t get dirty, don’t play rough, don’t eat messily, and everything in between. Don’t cry too loud, or scream, or squeal, or show too much anger, excitement, or sadness, “Don’t talk back to me”, eat this (even if they clearly don’t like it), or don’t eat that…you get the picture. It may seem like small ways we are protecting them or teaching them but what we are really telling them is that we know better. This then doesn’t allow the space for natural consequences to occur when they may happen to hurt themselves and would learn from that experience more than what we tell them through our words.

My son proves to me that he understands what it means to keep your word, just like Mimi-Siku, and consistently calls me forward into my own integrity. He observes people and understands the dynamics that feel out of alignment with true human nature of love and connection and support. He has a connection to animals like I have never seen. Where I am afraid of a bug landing on me, he is trying to catch them and make friends.

What I also realized was how my fears have held me back as a child, a young adult and an adult in many ways. I have worked through a lot of them, however some of them are so ingrained that it sometimes feels like fighting off a dragon that consistently grows back it’s head after you slay it. This is how important it is for us as parents, caregivers, teachers, and role models of the children in our lives to promote and support their wildness. This of course won’t happen until we as adults address and own our own wild side. He proves to me that it is about modeling the behaviors that we want to see and not constantly telling others what to do and how to do it. So if I want him to learn how to listen to his inner voice and guidance, become confident, face his fears, and embrace his wild side, I must be the model of what that looks like, for myself first, in front of him.

This doesn’t mean acting reckless, crazy and irresponsible, which I believe the word “wild” has taken on as a shadow meaning. It means tapping into your primal instincts, your intuitive nature, your innate truth as part animal. We cannot deny our connection to animals as we also eat meat, hunt, and fornicate as some of them do. We come from the Earth and are sustained by her gifts, which include plants, animals, etc. The world we have created as Humans is not superior to the natural world or what we consider as “wild”. There are still plenty of cultures who live solely off the land, in connection and oneness with it and are happy, fulfilled, healthy, and thriving.

It is our arrogance that separates these two worlds and makes one better than the other, simply because we haven’t fully experienced it, and are most likely fearful of it. But what are we so afraid of? The presence of fear is simply a lack of trust in oneself. When we fear animals, nature, and even other humans, it’s because we do not trust ourselves enough to be able to defend, fight, or even love what we feel is against us. It has nothing to do with the other, and all to do with the inner self. The problem is that we have given our power away to those outside of us, or were even forced to, to tell us what we should fear, how we should feel about ourselves and that we cannot trust ourselves.

We are teaching our children that the world is a scary place and to be afraid that they’ll be taken advantage of. I am not downplaying the fact that scary things do happen and children can get taken advantage of at times, however, this is where true modeling, parenting, teaching, and mentoring is needed. Teach them how to stand up for themselves, to trust their intuition when it comes to what is actually dangerous and what is not (without your own fear conditioning leading the way). If we continuously point them inward to discover these things for themselves, they will most likely not put themselves in situations without proper precautions. And we need to let go and trust. Trust that sometimes they know what’s best for themselves and we do not.

So I ask you reader: what is your connection to your own inner wild side? How much do you trust your natural instincts and intuition? If this is a new conversation for you and you have children of your own, I urge you to begin exploring it and see how it may or may not have influenced your parenting. Do not beat yourself up for past mistakes, but instead choose to empower new actions starting NOW, and do the inner healing work for both yourself and your children. Empowerment is a choice, no matter how difficult of a task it may seem to cultivate within yourself, it IS possible. And I am here for your support!

Stay wild,

Bethany

Back in 2019 I posted a blog with the same title and recently this year it received over 10,000 views! When I noticed this, I went back and re-read it, realizing the original blog may not have been as clear as to what the quote actually means, and that is what everyone is searching for – an understanding of what this quote means. So today, I am going to break it down into simpler terms so that it is as clear as possible.

Let’s first start with some definitions of the words used. Perception is defined as an understanding of the mind. Reflection is defined as something being mirrored back (or shown) to you; the act of reflecting. Therefore, the first part of the quote means, “The way your mind is understanding something about me is mirroring back, or showing, you something about yourself.” Think about looking in a mirror. You see your own image but it is reversed. It’s still you, yet it is a different view of yourself and you wouldn’t look in the mirror and say that it isn’t you just because you’re seeing a different side of yourself. The way we see the world is always a reflection of our own mind and how it understands what it is looking at. That is our perception.

Now let’s look at the second half of the quote. Reaction is defined as action in response to some influence. Awareness is defined as having knowledge or being conscious of something. Therefore, the second part of the quote means, “How I act in response to something you do is showing me something about myself,” or “I am becoming conscious of it through my reaction to you.” Again, it is about mirroring. Instead focusing on what the person did that caused you to react a certain way, look at why you are reacting that way and it will tell you more about yourself. Is there an unhealed emotional wound being revealed to you because of it? Are they disrespecting your boundaries? Perhaps you’ve discovered a new boundary for yourself through the way someone treated you and the way you figured it out is by questioning your reaction to it, NOT through blaming the other person’s actions. Their actions are their responsibility just as yours are your own. If you choose to stay in relationship with someone whose actions continuously hurt you, that is your choice and not theirs. You must take responsibility for removing yourself from the situation when they show you who they are through their actions.

The entire quote as a whole is a chance for us to take full responsibility for how we think, what we feel and how we act in response to others. How someone treats you is always reflective of how they think, feel and what they believe, and vice versa. I recorded a YouTube video about this as well. You can watch it here to receive more understanding and examples.

If you still do not fully understand this quote, you can schedule a session with me or email me at empoweringyourauthenticity@gmail.com.

Much love,

Bethany

**I recently wrote a new blog post about what this quote means and recorded a YouTube video. Follow the links to view.

If I could sum up the definition of how we can all be mirrors to each other’s inside world, it would be the title of this blog. The reason you come into relationship with others is to become aware of yourself. It doesn’t matter what type of relationship it is either – spouse, friend, business colleague, child, parent, sibling, stranger – the people who trigger you the most are there for your personal evolution and healing.

The trick is becoming aware of the personal lesson you are meant to learn through each relationship and not closing yourself off to it. If you do, and you choose to end the relationship or somehow avoid the lesson with one person, the Universe will simply send another person into your life that will trigger the same reaction from you until you get it. And the crazy thing is that all of these people could be showing up in a completely new way, yet your perception of them will be similar because you are seeing them through the filter of your own personal reality.

This is where it gets tricky because to you it seems as though it is the same type of person, or relationship dynamic, but what is the common denominator here? You. Are you taking responsibility for the unconscious patterns and filters that are still operating underneath your perception of reality? What we see on the outside is a reflection of what’s happening on the inside, always. Everyone’s personal experiences and level of awareness will be the determining factors in what they see and how they interpret things. What filter may you still be seeing the world through, that if you chose to look at it from a different perspective, could change what you believe to be true?

To give a personal example, I had acne as a teenager. It was something I struggled with for years and it gave me very low self-esteem, or I had low self-esteem and it caused the acne, I don’t know which came first. I felt ugly and unwanted by others, especially by boys when compared to all of the other girls who had perfect glowing skin. As a young adult I learned how to take better care of my skin and learned how it was connected to my emotional state as well, so now my skin looks better today. I cannot even say that it looks amazing, as this is still not the filter I see my skin through, even if others think so.

This is what prompted this realization for me – someone complimented my skin and I was taken aback. Every time I look in the mirror I still see every flaw, every red mark, every zit, even if they are tiny and quite non existent now. But that’s the filter I see myself through still to this day – that pimple faced teenager who felt ugly and unwanted. On a physical level, that’s how it was still showing up, and on a deeper level it was playing out in my inability to see myself as mature, professional, capable, or responsible as an adult.

There’s a part of me that still sees the world through the eyes of a damaged teenage girl who wants to be irresponsible and hide from the world. I have been attempting to grow up and take responsibility for myself and my life, yet there is always this voice that tells me I’m not pretty enough, mature enough, responsible enough, or smart enough to do the things I want to do. It shows up in how I treat myself in business, in relationships, and how I view myself. It doesn’t matter if everyone else around me thinks I am capable of doing anything if I don’t believe it for myself.

And the Universe will continue to bring me into relationships where this is tested and triggered so I can finally shift my perspective and choose not to play into it any longer. I have to let go and stop blaming the outside for how I feel on the inside because how I feel is my responsibility and mine alone. No one is making me feel a certain way about myself, that was already there within me to be heard and felt and seen – and they are simply drawing it out of me to be released. It wants to be integrated and healed, and if I can see this as my reality, instead of the unconscious emotional filter, I can move through it and past it to make wiser decisions.

If I could leave you with one thing, it would be this – you have more power over your reality than you may believe to be possible by deliberately choosing to shift your perspective. Step out of your head and emotional body and question their thoughts, sensations, and actions. They are messengers and they are there to serve you in moving forward along your path. This will take dedication, practice, and effort but it is always possible.

I believe in you, and I believe in me. If you need support, please book a session with me here.

Sending you so much power and love,

Bethany